To all of the bad Mothas out there, please accept a Mother’s Day gift that keeps on giving: the key ingredients to write an amazing rap song. When you rake in millions for your ghetto fabulous track, I ask that you please send me 35% of your earnings.
How to Write a Rap Song
1. Establish yourself: You must, and I repeat MUST, yell out your area code between 4-6 times throughout your song. If you don’t, people won’t know where you’re from. Helpful hint: if you hail from a small suburb, use the big city’s area code instead. Street cred is everything.
2. Brand yourself: Once you’ve recorded one song, thereby establishing yourself, begin referring to yourself by nickname only. “Ursher, baby!” “It’s Weezie!” “HOVA!” Additionally, it’s important to have a gesture or sign to accompany the name.
Jay-Z throws up his “Hova” sign, as does the large…
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